Moving on.
When a relationship ends, moving on is one of the hardest things to do. I'm not talking about a relationship with a person, that kind of moving on is easy to do. How do you move on when your relationship with something intangible ends?
I'm talking about UPSCA. And the life I had when I was still an active member. My "active" connection with UPSCA ended in 2001. It's been 5 years already, and I still feel like I'm UPSCA's bitter boyfriend who's still not ready to move on. I've talked to some UPSCAns about this and they've all told me the same thing: I have to move on. I have to deal with it.
And that's what I did. I dealt with it. But my way of dealing with it wasn't good. I tried to forget UPSCA. Don't get me wrong. I love UPSCA. But everytime I think of all the good and happy memories I had with UPSCA, I always go through this sadness that lasts for days. What an irony. Maybe because of regret of not being able to experience it again. Probably because UPSCA made me feel so good, too good that I ended up being hurt. So because of this, my 25 years of wisdom dictated the only thing that I should do: forget UPSCA and all the memories you left behind. My brain says I should do that. My heart says I shouldn't. And I'm more inclined to follow what my brain says to keep myself from getting hurt.
I couldn't get myself to really do it, though. UPSCA is still here with me. And all the good memories. And yes, the sadness too.
posted by kugs @ 2:12 AM
8 Comments:
ano nga pala yung UPSCA? UP Society of Creative Artists? UP School or College of Arts? UP Super Califragelisticexpi Alidocious?
***
update naman jan. :)
"UP Super Califragelisticexpi Alidocious?"
wtf. tumatanda ka na james. kumo-korni ka na ;p hahaha
it's UP Student Catholic Action.
Pero di kami yung "raise your hands! Amen! Amen!" ha.
hahaha bwiset. i'm not that old. kalbo lang kaya korni. hahaha.
so what did you do then in your org? mga projects or drives?
maliban sa medical missions at catechisms, ang core ng upsca ay ang focus group discussions called 'cells'.
pag sumali ka kasi ng upsca, para kang nagdagdag ng 1 unit sa iyong academic curriculum kasi kailangan mong maglaan ng at least 3 hours of your week to attend the cell meetings.
ano ang pinaguusapan sa cell meetings? theology of liberation, social and structural sin, etc. not your usual bible study class stuff.
tapos upsca's application period before was one year, unlike sa usual orgs sa UP na isang sem lang. pagkatapos ng isang sem, nagkakaroon ng barriowork immersion program kung saan yung mga participants(tinatawag na barrioworkers) ay makikitira sa mga foster families sa mga barrio for 7-10 days. parang practical application ng napagusapan sa cells. masaya yugn barriowork. yung napuntahan kong barrio was a fishing community, so beach and pangingisda galore ang ginawa ko. hehe.
ayuuun.
May ibang lalim ka pala kalbo.... ngayon ko lang nalaman ang side na yan sa iyo...
3rd Degree Higher
ah, hu u 3rd degree higher? hehehe.
that's my side that i don't usually let other people see. when i am with friends i am always aloof. i veer away from debates and discussions. i just like to listen.
ayuuuun.
dyan lang ako sa tabi tabi.
natutuwa lang ako na iba ang pagkakakilala ko sa iyo. natutuwa lang ako na ganyan din ang trabaho ko sa org namin dati. na hanggang puntong pumunta kami ng kulungan ng mga bata para lang makatulong kahit paano sa mga wala ng umaalala, na kahit wala ng pera sa sariling bulsa tuloy pa rin kami para sa kahit anong pwedeng iabot namin.
saludo ako sa iyo....
3rd Digree Higher
Homos.
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